Dominique Samantha Robinson
Share Your Story
Since the age of 17 I started suffering from anxiety and depression. It changed my life a whole lot. It is now 2019 and I have scars up and down my body due to cutting in past . People naturally think a black girl as me can’t go through , depression they portray it as aggression, having anxiety they portray as being a bitch . My mind has mental been damaged and changed since this catalyst. I often find myself helping other with the suicidal spirit, not knowing that is what they going through, I can just since it because I’m very spiritual and have intuition. Living with depression for 4 years was hell , I still deal little parts of it now . I use to feel completely alone, no one cares about me or loved me . I’ve been hospitalized 4 times due to manic outbreaks . It felt like jail , they wanted you to agreed with them telling you that you were not sane , when in reality you were just misunderstood. I’ve been on meds ever since my first hostipal stay . The meds can only do but so much . They do not help , all they do is take away your intuition, creativity and have you in a zombie like stage. I’ve been on 8 different medications and still had suicidal outbreaks still continue to cut still continue to cry and be depressed. So what are meds for? I soon realize that my doing on this Earth is not done I’m here for a reason and have a mission to complete. There were times I felt as if I was crused by God , he just wouldn’t let me go . What I believe led to my mental disability was the Awakening I was coming out of. When you finally wake up and get out of the Matrix real life hit you and it hit you hard. nobody would understand me they thought the things I ever talked about was crazy I just realized I was just too smart for them everyone was pretty much puppies and dummies just like robots. It was dumb who were living in a false reality not I. I’m 22 now and I have a better understanding about how life works . I’m also a multi media artist , I know I’m supposed to do something with my talent but also talk to the people. I’m a Sagittarius so I’m very optimistic and Good vibes for spirited I’m always helping people opening up their eyes are realizing what the situation really is and how to come about it. I’ve been told that I truly impact other’s lives. Only people close to me know the struggle that I have doight for years , but then I have others friends who know nothing about it and tend to think I’m crazy because they can see the scars I just know they’re not strong enough for me to tell them the truth . I get criticized a lot being a black female going through these things people think it’s impossible for us to go through these things. They don’t understand what other people can go through. In this cycle of being depressed it felt like ever since I first became depressed I started finding more and more reasons why I hated myself and more and more reasons to be depressed. there was actually a point in time when I was taking a medication that made me gain 40 pounds which of course then led to a depression. I don’t believe any diagnosis I feel like it’s just the system for money people to prescribe you these heavy drugs that you have to see a doctor to get just so they can keep money in their pockets. I’m not comfortable with changing the way that God made me there’s a reason why I went through all of this there’s a reason why I’m this way maybe I’m supposed to use my journey as a lesson for others and help them see how not to get stuck in that same cycle. It was 2018 when I realize I was living in my own eternal hell for 4 years and know how was not a lake of fire and how the Christians described it to be if you’re mentally awake you will understand being imprisoned in your own mind can be the second doubting yourself not keeping promises to yourself becoming what you said you always wouldn’t be doing thingssecond doubting yourself not keeping promises to yourself becoming what you said you always wouldn’t be doing things that you said you always wouldn’t do. You can be your own worse enemy. Like I said I’m basically through all of this but sadly my reputation has been damaged badly people around me to think I’m full of shit just because they can’t see the world the way I do. I live through a spiritual being not physically . I try not spend too much time on social media so it doesn’t corrupt my brain and train my mind to think certain ways about life or myself. I feel like this would be a great opportunity to share stories with the world because people only know you on social media but not your home life and a lot of us go through but just brush it off as it nothing and try to be hard for social media. In today’s generation we oftenly joke about these kind of things. We’ve became more insensitive to this topic as a whole nation this is just one of the things that is always swept under the rug. They’re not going through it so why should they care they don’t see the importance of it. If I can just hope one person from going through what I’ve been through than I feel accomplished something in life . I used to be lost and didn’t know my meaning of life but I do now and I believe I am supposed to talk to the people and teach them things. I could’ve explain more about these periods but I feel I would have to verbally explain it better into words that today’s generation will understand.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.