Alnias Marshall : Everyone is selfish, wants to put themselves first and everything is about materials, currency, & having more when we all should be uplifting one another.
Introduce Yourself To The World?
My name is Alnias Marshall and I’m a 16 year old high school dropout. Throughout my life everyone has always expected more from me though I seemed to receive less materially and emotionally. I was always learning at a faster pace than other people, though I missed more days than the other kids I maintained a 3.5+ grade average and always scored exceeding expectations when it came to state tests. Sadly, things in my live have pulled my focus away from the school environment. When I was 6 my mother left my brother who was 2 at the time and I to be babysat by a girl in her early teens. The girl would usually take advantage of me around bath time and that’s eventually how I lost my virginity and might play a part on my slight sex addiction. Around age 8 my family moved to Regency back in Sicklerville, Nj; my home town, and things weren’t going great of course at the time I didn’t know. We had to receive state assistance just to keep a roof over our heads, my mother had been prescribed perks to deal with her menstrual pain and other health issues but she started taking more to experience the high and quickly got addicted to that. She then found a boyfriend and with love & drugs things moved too fast for them, the man also did drugs so they supported each other to get more & more, he quit his job & next thing we know my mothers pregnant with another child. Funds just weren’t where they were supposed to be so my mother panicked and moved us to Fairview in Camden, Nj. At the time I was 11 years old and my sister had just been born. Her birth was an even bigger turning point in my life because my mom put more responsibility on my shoulders, her & my sisters father would leave me home alone to watch my brother 7, and sister 5 mos. for days or weeks at a time with nothing for us to do besides watch dvds & eat because we couldn’t afford much. Mind you I was in 6th grade and this was during the school year so days they weren’t there I had to get my brother & sister ready, walk him to school, watch, feed, & entertain my sister, pick him up from his programs after school, cook dinner, & put them both to sleep. I missed so many days of school I wouldn’t have been able to pass & for the days I actually did go I had so much going on in my head that I couldn’t focus so I would be a class clown and blatantly act out this caused me to get kicked out of my school & I had to enroll into a different school the next year with a record of 36 suspensions in a school year. After failing, finishing school was the big end goal but I didn’t feel like graduating was a requirement anymore. I fell into a deep depression, stopped caring about life.. it’s not like a kill myself kind of depression it’s more like a whatever happens, happens I don’t care about consequences alive or dead, free or in jail just prepared for anything. I stopped smiling. The summer I finished 6th grade our family was rushed back home to Sicklerville in my grandmothers because my mom had another baby girl and couldn’t get things paid for at the house. She was so caught in her ways that she left everything we had. I no longer have baby photos or anything from my past really to collect or pass on to my children you know? That hurts. Anyways, as a child my family was really close & I had a good relationship with everyone but my mom had us isolated for so long that it was almost like moving in with an old friends family or something. I took big advantage of living with so many people because I didn’t have to watch my siblings anymore and so much was going on that I didn’t get much attention so sneaking out was extremely easy, not like they cared anyway because eventually I just started doing what I wanted all together. Smoking became a big thing for me, that created belikeni everyday motive was to get high & get lit & this phase lasted for about a year and a half till my mom got us taken away from her, they split us up until the court decided to let us stay with mom mom and every night I cried cause I missed my family but everyday would act as though nothing affected me because in school or society period, if you show you’re not okay you get treated like you’re weird. My grandma works so much that living with her is like living with no one at all. She’s never home & you can’t even contact her. The first period with her was rough but it was cool enough for everyone to get by but now everyone is dealing with so much stress and everyday problems that everything just gets so hard but it’s a driving force and we’re trying to be better and everyone is so focused on themselves that no one seen/sees that my sisters are in desperate need of help & attention because they have no structure, they aren’t receiving a mother & a fathers love. I chose to take the responsibility to drop out of school & be a man to make sure these girls get raised right. Cause if I don’t do it.. who will?
How Do You Feel about people in society today?
No ones focused on the bigger picture, evolving and creating & sustaining eternal life for the universe and the organisms inside. Everyone is selfish, wants to put themselves first and everything is about materials, currency, & having more when we all should be uplifting one another, teaching the uninformed, guiding those in need of vision.. there’s so much more to life than worrying about me, myself & I.
What are your goals in life?
What do you feel like your purpose in the world is?
Not sure about my purpose but I hope to leave my mark